


Welcome to School Fuck Face

by Kitelester



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Bro is abusive, Child Abuse, Dave is in denial, Emotional Abuse, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Happy Ending, Homophobia, M/M, Misogyny, Multi, Physical Abuse, Slurs, abuse recovery, high school OH GOD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-15 03:26:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7204997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitelester/pseuds/Kitelester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're not entirely sure why you reached out to them.  It was kind of a spur of the moment thing.  The two trolls seem interesting, at least, and you're sure you won't be bored around them.</p><p>In which Dave loves Texas, high school and life with his Bro.  So much.  Just so fucking much.  And everything is fucking daisies and unicorns all the fucking time.<br/>No joke.<br/>Really.<br/>Don't worry about those tags.<br/>They're uh... Ironic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to School Fuck Face

==>COMPLETELY UNECESSARY PROLOGUE

Your name is Roxy Lalonde. You've just realized you may have a drinking problem. But... somehow, that isn't the most important thing on your mind right now. And as your chum pesters you, you know you're not the only one.

\--timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]\--  
TT: Can you feel that?  
TG: yes. waht is it??  
TT: I don't know, not for sure. Check the time, Roxy. It's officially April 14th everywhere in the world.  
TG: yeah your rite. but how??? is it over...? did they win...? how can it be... how come we're still...  
TT: I don't know. But I can feel it. It's over. At least, the game itself is. who knows what this really means.  
TG: but this is GOOD news rite?? i mean fuck dirk. rite??  
TT: I don't know. To be honest this is... pretty much outside my calculations. We're supposed to be dead.  
TT: Like really dead.  
TT: And... Shit, rox. We have to be careful. This could be very dangerous for us. Our minds, our memories... we could be changed, erased even.  
TG: do u mean becaus of the other "us"'s? Dirk... how coud this hav hapnd?  
TT: Not Dirk. Just bro now... Mom.  
TG: Oh.  
TG: I see.  
TT: Yeah.   
TG: ok. um just one more thing, 'bro'  
TT: What is it?  
TG: Um... were there always aliens here?  
TT:...  
TT: I...  
TT: I don't know.  
TG:...  
TT:...

==>END PROLOGUE

\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]\--

EB: Alright good night, dave! Sucks you have to go.  Just let me know how it goes tomorrow, okay?  I will be sitting here, waiting on bated breath for you.  
EB: unironically :p  
EB: Okay anyway good night

\--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]\--

You read John's pester from the night before while walking to school.  John's such a good dude, you wish he lived nearer.  You can't think of anything to say, so you just put your phone away and focus on not accidentally walking into the road and getting murdered by some soccer mom in a huge truck of compensation.  Everyone drives huge trucks to compensate for their tiny penises, especially the women.  God, you love Texas.

You round the last corner and there it is.  High school.  'Normally' you'd head off to advisement, but today you hook a left and head towards the auditorium. 'Normally' is in single quotes like that because normally, you're not here for the first hour at LEAST of school. In fact for most of your life school didn't really factor in at all. But three damn years ago that changed. It's still pretty new to you, the whole school thing, but you manage just fine. You always seem to find the time to study up or do your homework, so you get straight B's in every fucking class so none of the faculty gets on your ass for ditching. 

God, you love high school.  It's so awesome to go sit for hours getting taught shit you could literally learn more about and faster by just googling it.  And lunch time? Hot damn.  Either sit crowded in a too-small lunch room or try and find somewhere outside to sit.  Either way, you're going to die of heatstroke-- from hundreds of smelly teenagers bodies all shoved into a room or from the fucking Texan sun.

Oh yeah, that's the shit.

Although, today should actually be interesting.  Most other schools around the country have already gone through this shit, but it's finally happening in Texas.  You pass under a big banner with "Integration Day" written in two languages.

You kinda thought that whole deal was settled back in ancient history when white people stopped being pricks and decided that yeah, black people are literally humans as well and can attend school with the other, paler humans. Although... Three years ago, history got kind of... weird, so maybe that's not the best argument.

And besides, that whole human caveat probably set everyone up for failure when the trolls showed up.  Although… "Showed Up" isn't really the right word, because--

"Hello Class of 20XX.  We are so proud to be the first school in Texas to further Troll-Human relations.  12 Alternian Trolls in total will be attending classes starting today! We the staff are…"

Dave, feel free to tune this guy out.  He's basically just tooting his own horn and trying to impress the faculty and the local government officials in attendnece.  You can see through that shit. Plus, you all already know this.  Last year everyone had been required to take like… cultural sensitivity training.  And this year you and everyone else in your year is enrolled in a class taught by a troll about troll stuff.

Awesome.

And there the little grey fuckers are, sitting in the front row.  Kind of hard to miss those stupid horns. They are actually… kind of cool, if a little intimidating.  You'd seen pictures before, of course.  It's kind of a big fucking deal that they showed up, even though technically they've always been here you guess? Some weird paradox space shit explanation like that.

Whatever.  One of them gets invited up to speak.  Some little fish lookin chick.  She says something about peace and unity and how excited she is to make friends and that she'll fuck anyone up if they screw it all up.

Wait, what?

Fuck if she ain't adorable, though.  Even as she tells basically the whole school she has enough power in her pinky to lay waste to the whole damn thing but oh my she's just sooooo excited to make new friends.

Is she being serious? Can't be.  No one can say stuff like that with a straight-ass face.  Or a cutesy smile.  An she's doin both.

Doesn't matter.  Probably going to have basically zero contact with them anyway, same as the humans.

See? Dave Strider is all about equality.

 

-

 

It's finally over, Dave. Wake up! The principal is explaining how this week is going to go, and if you don’t pay attention you'll have to ask someone like a fucking n00b scrub shit.

Alright.  Fine.  I'll give you the cliff notes.  First off, today is different. Yeah, no fuck, I know.  First off, advisement will be right after the assembly, and will mostly be like… a 'get to know your aliens' type thing. So, go do that. Then the rest of your classes will be shortened, and you have a long lunch. There, you're welcome.

Dave, head to advisement!

Not all schools have 'advisement' or at least they don't all call it that. Some call it homeroom.  That… doesn't sound right to you, though. Sounds gay as fuck for some reason.  No, this is 'advisement' for sure.  Where they advise you to do shit and you advise them to fuck off. 

Anyway. Two trolls are headed down the same hallway as you are and... yup. Same room. They stand just outside the door, watching everyone go in. You return in kind, trying not to make it look obvious that you're sizing them the fuck up. They really don't look that tough up close, though. They both have small, dull looking horns, too. So that's good. 

You head to your table in the back. Each table seats about four people, and yours is the only empty one. You're not sure how that happened, exactly. Like, if if you started avoiding other students or if other students started avoiding you, but whatever it was, you're not complaining. It suits you just fine.

The teacher has the trolls come in and stand in front of the room.  They look about as different as fucking oil and water that hates oil.  One is this adorable lookin cat troll looking thing, and the other is just… angry. He doesn't even look like he knows how to smile. 

Shit.

You just realized the only empty seats in the room are at your table.  Why do you have to be so fucking cool and sit by yourself all the time, again?

"Hello, class. As we've been discussing these past few weks, we will be accepting two new students int our homeroom-" (advisement, you correct) "-today! Please, introduce yourselves!" 

"Hello, efurryone." Oh, fuck.  She's adorable too. Was that a cat pun? Dear god it must have been.  She's wearing a… helmet? Maybe? With cat ears…?  "My name is Nepeta Leijon.  It's so wonderful to mewt all of you!" Then she motioned to the troll next to her.  He looked considerably less excited to be there.  He just stood, simmering, with his arms folded and a perpetual frown.  He looked hilarious as fuck to mess with.  "This is Karkat Vantas, but he was ordered not to say anything unless his blood pressure goes down. So please, if you need anything or have questions, feel furree to ask me! "

This seemed to piss him off more, and his face darkens.

"I… See, miss Leijon, was it? Well, if the two of you could take your seats, um… Oh, dear, I didn't think this through, I should have cleared a spot in the front, there's nowhere-"

"WHAT THE FUCK.  THERE ARE TWO SEATS BY THE BLIND HUMAN IN THE BA--"

"Kar-kar! Remember, you're not supposed to!" The cat girl has put one hand (covered adorably by an oversized-green coat) on his mouth.  A stifled scream escapes as he lifts his arms but apparently decides against physically removing her hold on him.  He finally calms down, and she smiles and skips to the back. "He's right though, human teacher! There are seats here!"

"Oh, but, wouldn't you want to sit in the fro…"

"Goddamn, teach.  Let 'em do whatever the fuck they want.  Could we try to maybe move this shit show along?" You say, trying to keep your cool.  The teacher was making you all look so lame. Plus.. there's nothing wrong with sitting in the back. It's a perfectly fine place to sit. The teacher can go fuck himself.

Said teacher, whom I agree is totally lame and therefore haven't named, kind of mumbles something and starts up advisement.

"Thank you, misfur! It is pawsitively wonderful to meet you! Also, I apawlogize for my friend's behavior, he really is excited to be here!"

"Just a bad cattitude? Maybe all the excitement has given him claws for paws? Maybe he cat handle it. It's okay karkitty, you can take a cat nap if you need to. With your purrmission we'll just hang here until you're feline better. "

This makes the little cat girl so happy and the grey one so angry you spend the rest of the period thinking of hilarious cat puns you can use on her later.

When the bell rings, you stand up, but the trolls don't.

"So… do you guys know where to go next?" Dave, why are you asking? Weren't you going to avoid them just like you avoid everyone else?

"I believe the human teacher is to show us to our next location!"

"That's gay as fuck.  Come on, I'll show you. By the way, I'm Dave Fucking Strider." Huh. You guess... talking to them feels kind of nice. Natural, maybe? Nah that aint the right word. Whatever. Don't try and analyze it, just roll with it. 

The teacher seems a little put off by you taking over his job, but doesn't put a stop to it.  This is what it's all about, right? Human and troll teens coming together in all the integration glory.

Nepeta hands you their class schedule, and watches you pick it a part with interest.

The two trolls have all their classes together, three of which are with you, including your next class. Perfect. You walk them to class, navigating the halls easily, despite having only been to this particular class a handful of times. They introduce themselves to the class much the same as in advisement. 

This time, the teacher has set up two seats for them near the front, next to some model students. Karkat doesn't even look at the seats, and Nepeta just gives the teacher a cute-ass smile as they follow you to the back and sit down.

That kind of makes you feel cool as fuck, but of course you don't even acknowledge it, as if it is the most natural thing for them to be sitting with you. You also note that Karkat has stopped growling at you. Aww yeah. Dave Strider, Troll Tamer.

You're… not sure why you're doing this. Your usual MO is to avoid anything that might draw attention to yourself. Yet, here you are.  Probably because you're bored, and super curious about the troll with tiny horns and a grey 69 symbol on his black sweater.  Also, what the fuck's with a sweater in fucking October, in TEXAS. You get hot just looking at him.

Because of how physically hot it must be to be wearing a black sweater in summer.

Not because of other reasons.

Ahem. Anyway. That whole sworn silence thing for Karkat is pretty funny.

 

-

Despite how entertaining the trols antics are, you still manage to sleep through the shortened 1st period. Nepeta pokes you awake when the class ends.

"thanks, 'Peta. Aight so your guys' next class is, uh... this way. I'll take you, but y'all are on your own during the actual class."

"Thanks, Dave Fucking Strider! Say, I'm curious... are you really blind? You don't seem to be using your smell or taste to navigate."

"Oh, no, i ain't blind. My shades are for uh, medical purposes i guess. But I can see fine, basically."

Nepeta just kinda nods, like she doesn't really understand, and lets it go. You appreciate that. You used to get a lot of shit for wearing glasses in doors, but it's not like it's something you can do anything about.

Some kid running to get to his next class bumps into karkat, who growls loudly in response. Nepeta helps the boy up, and apologizes for Karkat's rudeness. 

"Hey, Neko girl? Why does Tiny Horns keep growling?"

"Oh. Uhh Well, that's because normally, Karkat would protect himself using his claws, teeth, horns, or by being super loud and shouty. But since he can't do any of those things, he just kind of growls. He can't help it, it's an involuntary response to stress."

"Huh. So, Karkitty, what's with the vow of silence anyway?" 

Nubs just bares his teeth a little, and turns into the class room. He waits for you to show him where to sit, though, which you find kind of cu--funny.

"So, neko girl, why aren't you all growly?"

"Well... I'm not sure. I guess our tempurrments are just difurrent. It probably has to do with how we were raised!"

"Huh. Okay, then. That's as good a reason as any i suppose. Well, karkitty, just so you know i'm making it my personal fucking quest to make you break that silence because I have a feeling when you do it's going to be hugely entertaining."

He responds by an impresive eye roll and a middle finger. Yep, it's gonna be pretty fucking great.

"Alright trolls. I'm off to my class. I'll hurry my premium ass on over though after 2nd period to walk ya over to our 3rd period class. So don't let any chumps take my fucking job."

"Aye-aye, Catpan Strider!"

"Karkitty, take notes. You'll get much further in life being an adorable cat girl than a growly little bitch."

Karkat seems to take exception to that, but you're gone before he can retaliate.

\-- ectoBiologist began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]\--

EB: Hey!  
EB: Hey!  
EB: Hey!  
TG: you've gotta at least sprinkle in some 'hey you listen's in there or something otherwise this is just annoying and not like hilarious.  
EB: There you are! So how'd it go?????  
TG: eh, alright I guess.  ive got like 3 classes with them.  their names are… uh…. "Nepeta Leijon" and "Karkat Vantas"  
EB: Cool! what're they like?   
TG: nepeta is like this adorable troll cat girl who makes cat puns and RP's all the time  
TG: And I know literally nothin about Karkat other than than he apparently has like anger issues and one of the trolls ordered him not to speak until he calmed down i guess?? i dunno that wasnt really clear  
TG: what is clear is that ive made it my goal to make him break that silence  
TG: because its sure to be fucking hilarious in every way  
EB: Wow, that's so cool! it sounds really fun! I wonder if it was a member of their group higher up on the hemospectrum that ordered him not to speak?  
EB: What color was his blood  
TG: wut how would i even know that that's so fucked to ask  
EB: He was wearing a shirt with a symbol on it, right? What color was the symbol?  
TG: uh   
TG: grey  
EB: Hm, that's interesting  
EB: So, technically his blood could be any color! Well, except blood colors typically female, like a certain green or the royal fuschia.  
TG: due  
TG: *dude  
TG: why are you talking about blood  
TG: so creepy  
EB: Is not! Their society is a type of hierarchy based on their blood color  
EB: and you know that  
EB: you're screwing with me aren't you  
TG: I may be screwing with you.  
EB: damnit dave I'm the prankster here!!! Damn. my gambit is so not doing well today.  
TG: Ah, shit, sorry, gotta go. bro needs me  
EB: Oh, okay.  
EB: Say hi to your bro for me!  


\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]\-- 

 

Yeah, your life is pretty awesome. You just fucking love Texas, school, and your sweet bro, who--based on the note that appeared on your desk--is waiting for you on the roof.

**Author's Note:**

> "Claws for paws" is "cause for pause" by the way.  
> Thank you for reading! I have the whole thing already planned out and several chapters already written. Feel free to drop any prompts or anything you'd like to see, and I may use it :]  
> This fic deals with DOMESTIC ABUSE, HOMOPHOBIA (internalized and straight up), MISOGYNY, and other shit.  
> Canon relationships, canon typical violence (more triggory though, when it deals with abuse), canon typical romancing. (AKA no smut sorry hahah)  
> This is not really an AU, as you'll find out! Ask me any questions, I'll do my best to clarify anything.  
> Thanks again for reading! I hope to see you next chapter :]


End file.
